I’ve been sad lately. I’m not 100% sure why, but I’ve been stuck under a rain cloud and in a bad mood. More than likely, it’s hormonal, as it usually is. But I was recently reminded by the boy I dated this summer who ended up playing me that, once again, I’m not enough. It put me further in the gutter to be reminded of that. My feelings of self-esteem/self-love/self-worth have been garbage, and I spent the last week drifting between the bed and the couch, unable to muster enthusiasm for, well, anything.
On Friday I decided that with the weekend upon me, I didn’t want to feel sad anymore. So I started texting friends to put plans together, and then decided to make a list of the things I do when I’m feeling sad. What do you do when you’re feeling sad?
- Listen to American Beauty
- Watch When Harry Met Sally
- Go to my favourite bar and read a book
- Go hiking
- Turn all the lights off and take a bubble bath
- Write in my personal journal
- See the people who bring out the best in me
- Organize – cleaning, doing laundry, creating lists, updating my budget, etc.
- Watch Gilmore Girls
- Tap (EFT)
- Water my plants
- Be kind to myself
- Make plans for adventure
- Paint with water colours
- Look through family photo albums
- Take self-portraits
- Go to church
The things that I do when I’m sad tend to be easy. Usually when I’m sad – very sad – I can’t muster the strength to do things like yoga or kickboxing (I haven’t worked out in almost 2 weeks). When I’m sad I don’t like spending money or going to places where I will feel only more alone, such as art museums, farmers’ markets, concerts, etc. When I’m sad I try to surround myself with the things that bring me comfort, but I also like to create and find things that will allow me to focus on moving forward.
And so, with that, I leave you with one of my favourite reminders about creating and moving forward….
“After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t always mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child, and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much, so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure, you really are strong, you really do have worth.” – Veronica A. Shofftsall