I began blogging, publicly, with my name and face attached to rambling words, when I was 15.
I’ve been at it a long time. Living a public life. Letting people into controlled facets of my existence – my wardrobe, my relationships, my back alleyway. Anecdotes about my jobs, my friends, my experiences in high school…and then in college…and then in post-grad life. My life has been very public for the few who have sought it out. And I’ve always liked it that way. I do not think that I was created to live a silent life. Although I am reserved and like to spend my evenings quietly entertained at home with my cat and a friend or two, I have always wanted to be heard.
I learned how to make myself heard starting at the age of 3, when I began speech therapy to correct a myriad of lisps that were making me otherwise unintelligible. I learned better how to express myself in high school, when I found myself lost in blogging and short story writing. I learned how to speak publicly when I began my first job at 16. And I learned how to be persuasive throughout college and internships and job interviews post-grad. I’ve studied communicating through photography, foreign language, fashion, yoga, painting, expression, and design. I’m now a non-profit communications professional. Communications is my life, and has been since it first fully engaged me at 3 years old.
When I transitioned my blog into something more “mature” at 20, it worked well for a couple of years until I dropped off.
One of the most common questions I am asked by old friends is, “Do you still blog?”
Speaking with my hands fluttering everywhere, I come up with a gazillion excuses. I’m too busy. I have nothing to say. I’ve lost my audience. I don’t take photos as much anymore. My focus is on other things. I’m behind a computer for my job too much now. I’ve just lost interest.
The real problem is this: I’ve been public since I was 15. My face has been attached to words and a deep identity for the past 8 years. I’ve been in magazines and local publications and other blogs and all over social media. I’ve been easy to track and an icon of millennial vulnerability & the casually public life – or at least, in my small corner of the world, I have been. I’ve grown up online. And that scares me.
But, I still have things to say.
After more than a year of blogging sporadically and without much heart in my words, I am back. Here with a fresh start and a new space. I’m not here to show a dozen photos of what I wore, or to wax poetic about why I chose to wear what shoes, or what dress, or how I did my hair. I’m just here to say the things that I feel like saying – with heart and thought and care.
I look forward to once again sharing what I have to say. I believe I was created to communicate vast things and thoughts and ideas, so here I am. Again. 8 years after beginning.